Lost in Translation

The kids were making Mother's Day books today and had to write a poem, draw a picture and fill out a questionnaire about their mom. This little nugget is what one student wanted to share with his mom. The statement is If I could give my Mom some advice, it would be... and his response is You should stop drinking so much Coke. 

I believe this will be a Mother's Day to remember.

Where are the Zebras?

Overheard at the zoo...

Kid looking at zoo map: "You a fool! I ain't even seen the zebras yet!!"

One of a Kind

While discussing segregation with a group of third graders one student asked

Student: "Does segregation still exist?"
Me: "Look around and tell me." (there are some black, some Asian, and one white student)
White Student: "Nope! Cause if it did I would be the only one here!"

What kind of American?

While talking to third graders about Thurgood Marshall we discussed segregation. The book we read used the term African American several times. When I finished reading, a student raised her hand and asked...

"What kind of American are you, Mr. X?"

Guess being in the sun for a few days has put me in a questionable position.

Spanish 101

While talking to a kindergarten Spanish speaking student, another student came up and asked what we were talking about.

Me: That's not any of your business.
Student: I know how to say "none of your business" in Spanish. (this student does not speak Spanish)
Me: How do you say it?
Student: Nun ya!
Me: Si señor. Please take a seat.

Dozing Off

As we were working on an animal writing project, one of the kindergarteners informed me he had seen a real live cheetah.

Me: Really! That's awesome. Did you go to the zoo?
Student: No.
Me: Where did you see him? Africa?
Student: Yeah, in Africa!
Me: You went to Africa? Like you got on a plane and went there?
Student: No. We got in the car and I slept for a little bit and then when I woke up we were in Africa.
Me: Moving on...

Grown up kids

A kindergarten student saw "Jay" on a piece of paper I had this morning. Sseveral hours later at recess this conversation occurred...

Student: Um Jay he threw wood chips at me.
Me: What's my name?
Student: Jay.
Me: Try again. It starts with a Mr.
Student: Mr. Jay
Me: I'll take it. Tell him to stop throwing wood chips.

Pole dancing

Today at recess a kindergartener comes up to me and says "HEY! Watch me slide down the pole!"

A for Effort

Ran across this little nugget the other day. Laughed out loud all over again!

What's in a Name?

Here is a list of unique student names. I have either taught or seen these names on an official class roster so none have been made up...swear!

LordGod
LordSeaLife
Golden Brown
Faeva Love
Sincere Lee
King James
Jesse James

Drier longer

While reviewing language arts, the question was which word would come between deodorant and deport. The answer choices were deportation, dig or depend. The student answered depend, like the diapers for old ladies.

At least you still have your marbles

The students were planning for the arrival of live baby chicks. The teacher was stalling and this little gem came out...

Teacher: Wow! She is going to be so impressed with all of your knowledge!
Student: OH NO! My knowledge is at home!!

Excuses

Teacher: Good morning! Please take out your homework.
Student: Mine remains anonymous.
Teacher: anonymous?
Student: In anonymous.
Teacher: What?
Student: Unfindable.
Teacher: So you lost it.
Student: Yes.

Just one question...

Tomato Tamato

While giving a presentation on baseball a student showed the St. Louis field and pointed out the "Golden Arches" in the background. I thought it was called the St. Louis Arch but I'm sure there is a McDonalds close.

Will.I.can't

Student A: You know Will.I.am is blind, right?
Student B: No he's not!
Student A: Yes he is! Why do you think he always wears sunglasses??!

Game. Set. Match.

Man on the Run

Overheard in another classroom.

Teacher: What do you call workers who move from place to place so they can work?
Student: Fugitives!

I was thinking migrant workers but...