Mean Mom

Student: My mom is SOOO MEAN!!!
Me: What? Your mom is the NICEST person I have ever met!
Student: No she isn't! She was mean when I was a baby.
Me: How?
Student: She put me in the grass, NAKED! Then she put a cotton ball on my butt and a bunny ears headband on my head and took pictures in the front yard!
Me: Oh. Yeah...that's pretty mean.
Student: I know!! That's what I said!

Crypt Keeper

Since it is the last week of school (silent cheer!) we had a Read All Day event. The kids brought stuffed animals and favorite books. I showed them a Reading Rainbow clip and read some of my favorite books. My grandparents also came down and read to the kids. After 17 introductions of "This is my grandmother" one student still asked her...

Student 1: Are you Mr. X's mom or grandmom?
Grandmother: I'm his grandmother.
Student 2: WOW! How are you still alive!?!