Gotta Keep Them on Your Radar!

Santa don't visit no bad ho's!

*this is the student's "Elf Name" so it's not really Isaac writing this. :)

He See's You When You're Sleeping

Santa has been up ALL night! Coffee, Coke, both? Who knows?

DON'T Sound it Out!

They really should check all possible combinations of these things...

Dinner and a Dong

What exactly do you do "after dinner"?

How Does She Know?

We were having a class discussion about Halloween. My blind student threw out something about pumpkins and everyone stopped dead...

Student A: Wait a minute! How does she even know it's Halloween?!?
Student B: Yeah! How?
Me: She's blind, not dumb.

Guess we will see if she can identify Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What Does the X Say?

Me: (pointing to the letter X) What does this letter say?
Student: I don't know.
Me: Can you try?
Student: Well. My mom doesn't even know what that letter says.

Fair enough... moving on...

Rhymes with "it"

I do this to myself every year!

Me: Give me two words that rhyme.
Boy 1: Hit and Mitt.
Me: Very good! Anyone know anything else that rhymes with these words?
Girl 1: Sit!
Girl 2: Sh*t!
(no one responded so I ignored her.)
Boy 2: Lit.
Girl 2: Sh*t!
Boy 1: I don't even think that is a word!

No son, no it isn't.

Show and Tell

Rhyming words...

They told me two words that rhymed and I wrote each on the paper. They illustrated the words. Clearly it doesn't matter what this word rhymes with, we have some bigger problems...

Faker McFakerson

We started talking about counting sets today, and I gave the kids some play pennies to count out different amounts to me.

Me: Ok, let's count out 10 pennies.
Student A: Is this really money!?!
Me: No.
Student B: AH! He gave us fake money.
Student A: You FAKED us Mr. X!


Dang! All my secrets have been revealed!

First Letter is the Hardest

While doing a sand tray writing activity...

Me: You have been doing really great with my help! Can you do some all on your own?
Student: YES!
Me: Excellent. Lets do an easy one to start. Can you write the word "I"?
Student: Yes. (looks at sand, puts finger in sand and then takes it back out). What does "I" start with again?

Can I Get a Ride?

It's like Uber with a "happy ending"

Granny Got Skills

We were reading "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed Some Leaves". She swallows lots of things (leaves, shirt, pumpkin, pants, etc.) In the end, she sneezes and out comes a scarecrow. When they got to the last page, they saw the scarecrow and one little boy exclaimed, "MAN! She is good!!"

Jitter Bug

I was saying some words and asking the kids to write the "letters they heard". I would use the word in a sentence to try and help them with context...

Word: Bug
Sentence: The bug jumped up and started tap dancing.

Student: Well I hope he was wearing some tap shoes!

Hopefully he was using jazz hands too. :)

Kindergarten Theology

We were making rockets and I asked the kids where they wanted to fly their rocket...

Student A: I would fly mine to Heaven!
Student B: Wow! That's far! It's like past space!
Student A: I know!!
Student B: Well did you know I know who God's worst enemy is? It's like a goblin thing and he is always trying to destroy God's village.

Village, Kingdom...you know, tomato tomotto.

Suck it Up Buttercup!

Counselor: I have this picture of a heart. What's wrong with it?
Students: IT'S BROKEN!
Counselor: Yes! And what do I have on the heart?
Students: A band-aid.
Counselor: Yes. What do band-aids do?
Boy Student: They suck the blood back in!

Grape Story

Reading with a student, there was a picture of a little girl and a thought bubble. In the bubble was a picture of grapes.

Student: (reading) No. I do not like grapes. (stops and looks at me.) Mr. X can I tell you something?
Me: Quickly. We need to finish reading.
Student: I don't like grapes either. Once I ate too many, when I was watching a movie, and I barfed.

Let's stick with the words on the page, but nice real world connection!

Dad Rule #896

Girl 1: Guess what Mr. X, I have a boyfriend!!
Me: Oh wow! What does your dad say about that?
Girl 1: He says I'm too young. But I don't care, because I really want one!
Girl 2: My dad says I can't have a boyfriend until I'm 89. I don't like him very much.

Do The Crime, Serve the Time

We have a YMCA sponsored after school program called PrimeTime. Not all kids get the name right...

"Mr. X, is it almost time for me to go to CrimeTime?"

For the next 5 to 10 kid.

Letter Formation

Student: Look at my "J"!

Lest We Forget

I have a blind student this year who doesn't take much from anyone...

(Walking in the hall)

Student A: Don't touch the wall. Mr. X said we have to keep our hands by our side.
Blind Student: I have to touch the wall! I'm blind! REMEMBER?!?

Don't Eat the Candy

Elementary school papers really need spell check.

Chocolate > Math

Student A: Math is so good! I love math! Isn't math so good guys? (talking to table group.)
Student B: No, chocolate is better.

Scratchers

We don't allow food for "birthday treats" at our school so today a girl brought in her "birthday goodie bags" with contained the usual, lollipop, trinket and the kicker...a scratch off lottery ticket!

Conversation Overheard:

Student A: Hey! Are these stickers? (talking about lottery ticket)
Birthday Kid: Nope. Those are scratch ticket.
Student B: What's that?
Birthday Kid: You scratch them off and you can win money!

b's have Bellies, d's Don't

Letter formation is a huge part of the Kindergarten curriculum. Otherwise you end up with unfortunate sentences like this...

Grab the Spray

Got this sweet note from one of my K babies! 

Alice Needs GPS!

It's "Q" week so of course we are doing lots with "queens" and "quilts". We were making a "Queen's Quilt" and there were hearts all over the quilt...

Student A: Look! It's the Queen of Hearts like from that book we read!
Me: What book was that?
Student B: Peter Pan!
Me: No not Peter Pan.
Student A: Alice in Peterland...Wonderland. I mean Alice in Wonderland!

Looks like Alice made a wrong turn and went from G to X very quickly!

ALK Jr.?

We started reading King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table before break and since it had been a week, I wanted to make sure they remembered what we had read so far...

Me: OK. So it's been a week. Who can remember what story we are reading? Who is one of the characters?

Student: ARTHUR LUTHER KING JR.!!!

...so clearly, I need to back up and try again.

Egg Head 2.0

same student about 10 mins later...

Me: Ok, so we know all of these animals lay eggs. Can anyone add anymore animals to our list?
Student: A COW!
Me: You really need to visit a farm.

Egg Head

After a discussion about eggs I asked students to name animals they knew that laid eggs.

Student: A PIG!
Me: A pig? Does a pig lay eggs?
Student: Yes!
Me: Really? What pig do you know that comes out of an egg?
Student: (with a "duh" look on his face.) A tiny one!

I guess I can't argue with that.

2K16 Writing

Write it like you would text it..

kids these days.

Special Day

We are in the "season" of "special days/events" so I was laying the next several out to the students...

Me: We have the 100th Day coming up, and we will celebrate the 101st day by dressing up like dalmatians, also, there is Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day.
Student: AND TACO TUESDAY!!

Age Limit

In conjunction with the previous post...

Girl Student: MAN! I wish I could go see the baby!! I really want a little sister, but my mom says no. She says she is too old!

It's a Dirty Job but Someone Has to do it!

Overheard...

A student's family friend had a baby recently and he went to visit the new baby.

Student: I went to see a baby!
Student A: Did you have to change a diaper?
Student: YES!
Student A: EWWW! Was it a poop?
Student: Yeah, but I love dirty jobs!

Spell Check

Let's say it all together with gusto... Spell Check IS MY FRIEND! (Proofreading is too!)

Several friends know I have this blog, so occasionally, I get submissions. I knew this one was good when a 5 months pregnant teacher came running down the hall to make sure I saw this...

Careful the Things You See

We wrote letters to soldiers for a "Random Acts of Kindness" project. The student brought up his letter with this drawing...

after gawking for a good minute, I asked him to describe what he drew, "A tank!" 

Oh silly me, it is a tank!

A Week of Change

They keep getting younger with all of their crazy talk. I picked up baby X from the babysitter and had this lively conversation with one of the other kids who is three and a half!

Me to Baby X: Are you a big kid or a baby?
Kid: I'm a big kid!
Me: Really. Aren't you 3?
Kid: Yes, but I'm going to be big next week.

let me know how that goes for you!

Facial Expressions

Student: Oh Mr. X, are you growing a beard? (I had a few days of stubble)
Me: No. I have just been lazy and haven't shaved.
Student: My dad has a goat beard.
Me: What?
Student (stroking chin): You know a goat beard!
Me: A goatee?
Student (eye roll): Yes!

3 Shades of Black

Student (who is African-American): Mr. X, you know we talked about Martin King Jr. (he means Martin Luther King, Jr.). 

Me: Yes.

Student: Why did black people have to be slaves? Like my daddy.

Me: Uhh. I'm pretty sure your dad wasn't a slave.

Student: Yes! He is black, I am brown and my mom is a little tan.

MIA

Clearly I have been MIA for a bit, but I am back! I have kept (and lost and found and lost again) some gems on scraps of paper. I will post the ones I re-found (several times).