Grown

Overheard...

Boy: I am a MAN! I will color with whatever crayon I want!

What More Could Dad Want...

Student: It's my dad's birthday!
Me: Oh wow! Did you wish him a "Happy Birthday"?
Student: Yeah, but we gave him his card and scratch tickets last night.

Getting Ready

One of our first day activities was for the kids to draw something they did "To get ready for Kindergarten". My assistant and I walked around and wrote down what they told us (supposedly matching the picture.)

Me: What did you do to get ready for Kindergarten?
Student: Well I didn't shave!

Done.

It's Cool

Mrs. X is expecting a baby soon so I told my new Kindergarten students...

Me: Mrs. X will be having a baby in a few weeks.
Student A: A boy or a girl?
Me: It's going to be a little girl.
Student B: Can you name her Steve?
Me: Probably not. We already have her name picked out.
Student B: Well, Steve is a really cool name!

Drink of Choice

While proctoring the CRCT for a 3rd grade class, I noticed these two drinks next to the lunch boxes. My how times have changed, and how varied tastes they have!

Stop, Collaborate and Listen

Students were asked to bring in song lyrics during our poetry unit. One student brought this in...

I have a new favorite student!

Point of the Lesson Missed

I can't get past this visual...

And pretty sure "cheese" wouldn't be coming out in this scenario! 

Can You Hear Me Now?

Student: MR. X, I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION!!!
Me: Ok, but why are you yelling at me?
Student: BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!!

Nice...29.5 years and I am "old".

Lonely Hearts Club

We have been watching the Berry College EagleCam from Georgia each morning (very cool, check it out!) This morning both parents and the baby were in the nest, then suddenly the parents flew away. One student yelled out, "oh no! He's there all alone!" To which another student started singing Eric Carmen's "All By Myself".

I stopped him after the second verse and chorus.

Til Death Do Us Part

Student: Mr. X, do you have to get shots before you get married?
Me: Only if he has rabies.

Hey, a girl's got to be prepared for anything...right?!?

Can I Buy a Vowel?

Working with a 2nd grader on www.spellingcity.com, he was playing a game where his spelling words would pop up, and he had to fill in the missing letter. This is the word he was on when I looked over...

Boys Just Wanna Have FUN!

We do an annual "Boys Night" where the 5th grade boys (and male teachers) stay at school. We play games, have motivational speakers, dinner, the works. As I walked into my room of about 30 boys I hear...

"Where's the alcohol!?!"
"Let's go to the bar!!!"
"Let's look at HOT GIRLS!!"

Wow... 10 going on 22.

Bag Check

We were doing a "Don't Do Drugs" poster (after watching McGruff of course!) I had to leave for an SST meeting, so my coverage came in. Once I came back, she stayed for a few minutes...

Me: Ok, if you are done with your poster you can read, talk quietly, or draw another one.
Coverage Teacher: or do the drugs in your book bag.
Me: Seriously! You just told them that!?!
Student (who isn't in my homeroom): Can I go get my book bag?

WHAT!

Shot v. Shot

Student A: UGH! I have to go get a shot today!
Me: Oh...fun! I love shots. I like to get 4 or 5 at a time!
Student B: Yeah! The ADULT KIND! I think they are talking about the medical ones.

All in the point of view.

Wait for It...

Randomly...

Student: Hey Mr. X have you seen the new movie Constipated?
Me: What! Seriously? There is a movie called that?
Student: Yeah! Have you seen it?
Me: No.
Student: Well, that's because it hasn't come out yet! (hysterical laughter)
Me: ...


Well played sir, well played.

Baby It's COLD Outside

Student: Mr. X! Do you know what my mom put in my hair to make it look like this?!?
Me: No. What?
Student: Antifreeze! Otherwise it would be all tangled up and in knots.
Me: AntiFRIZZ is what it's called. Antifreeze is for cars.
Student: Oh yeah. Well whatever.

Book Titles

Directions: Disguise a turkey so people won't eat him. Persuade me not to eat him.

Me: That's interesting. Is that Arctic camo?

Student: Nope. I colored him like that book shades of gray, or whatever it's called.

So basically women between 20-70 will want to devour this turkey. Men will avoid it like the plague.

A teacher friend has pictures of the students with outstretched arms so it looks like they are holding all of these books. Every time they finish a title, they are allowed to add it to their stack. I think the latest read seems interesting, not PC by any means, but interesting none the less.