PETA?

Overheard (students talking about hunting/killing animals)...

Student A: Gross! I can't listen to this. I'm a vegetarian!!
Student B: Well, you're not helping the animals out any. You're just eating their food!!

Game.
Set.
Match.

Help Wanted

I had a job board/teacher helpers when I taught first grade, but I didn't really think fifth graders would like to do it so I didn't set them up. Well, I was wrong. They have hounded me for a "jobs board" for weeks and weeks and I finally gave in and made one up.

Me: Ok, here is our job board. If your name is listed beside a job, you will do that job for the whole week. On Mondays, I will change the names.
Student: I don't see my name on the board, does that mean I'm retired?!?

Would it be wrong to have an "unemployed" section? :)

School of Dad

Overheard...

Student A: I don't like school!
Student B: Well, why don't you have your parents homeschool you?
Student A: My dad can't teach me all this stuff! He can barely help me with my homework!

Sorry Dad, you are NOT smarter than a fifth grader!

Writing, Writing Everywhere

See if you can find the hidden "gems" in these excerpts.